Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
