nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
