I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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