do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Your cock deserves a montage
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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