I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
