Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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