i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
