Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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