His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Sober January is a disaster.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
