theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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