i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
