Already got asked if we're dating
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He called his prostate his "boner button".
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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