So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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