There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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