at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
