Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
