I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
