I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
