PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
