smell my finger.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
