Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
