I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
