I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
