Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
