i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm at about main and main street
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
