Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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