Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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