dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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