is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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