why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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