I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
