You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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