Have you finally orgasmed yet?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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