what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
