then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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