I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
