She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
