O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
