yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
