How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
