Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
