"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
