So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
