Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
