I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
