Cold hands, warm shart.
Dual....:-)
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
