What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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