the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
