so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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