By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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