There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
