I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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