i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Boobs speak an international language.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
