well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You don't make any sense
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